It’s not money that really separates Gu’s mother from ordinary parents

2022-05-27 0 By

Gu, who won 6 championships in 36 days, is very popular.While she’s been flooding the screen with information, her mother Gu Yan’s views on parenting have also been hotly discussed online.The most common comment I see in this discussion is: Don’t learn parenting from Guyan, it’s not something ordinary parents can learn, just the high cost of training a skier is beyond the reach of ordinary families.With the discussion for a long time, or settle down to the money on this point.Indeed, money is indispensable to the shaping of such a talented athlete as Gu, because her sport, skiing, is expensive.It is impossible for Gu Yan to copy gu Ailing’s education model completely, but the core logic of Gu Yan’s parenting is universal without the difference of family circumstances and material conditions.In the past two days, I have watched many interviews and documentaries about Gu. After watching gu’s relationship with her mother, I realized that money is not the real difference between Gu Yan and most of her parents.To put it this way, even though Gu Yan is a person with ordinary material and economic conditions, I believe she can still cultivate her daughter into a happy and excellent child with her own cognition and mind.Because the real difference between ordinary parents and Guyan is not money, but how to be a qualified parent.Some people wonder why Gu Ailing is always so happy, even when the error score is low in the competition, she can laugh it off, pat the snow on her body and continue to fight high.Is this just optimism?It’s not that simple. It’s mental stability and strength.The source of such stability and strong mind is the mental strength and emotional stability of mother Guyan.In an interview, Gu Yan said that When Gu Was young, she would never correct or force her child to adjust, but let her do what she wanted to do.Gu Ailing, 13, was climbing a tree in the courtyard, and Gu Yan was standing in the house watching.How many parents can maintain emotional stability when their children are acting up, refrain from scolding or reprimanding, and do not follow their own adult habits?I ask myself, this is really hard to do.Not to mention parents who take out the frustrations of work and life on their children.I once witnessed a mother taking it out on her son at McDonald’s:The little boy wants to go to the slide, mom said don’t agree to get dirty clothes, let him sit on the seat, but the slide children play of very lively, the little boy when the mother to get meal time is left to run, found the little boy is not his mama take food come back, rushed to the slide area marched to the little boy yell: you give me out!She led the boy back to his seat and scolded him, “Why don’t you listen to me? Why are you so naughty?Mom is so tired!Why can’t you be considerate of mom and make me feel better?!The little boy looked at his mother in dismay, holding a bite of French fries in his hand, not daring to move.Many parents like to complain that their children are not as motivated and energetic as other children. Have these parents ever considered that their children’s positivity and creativity may be stifled by their emotionally unstable children?Looking around, many children have been restricted and ordered by their parents since childhood, not only lack of enterprising spirit, but also lack of initiative.There are also many parents who blindly force their children to learn too many things, but never try to understand what their children really like.Because of her emotional stability and strong mind, Guyan does not require her daughter to be sensible and obedient, nor does she force her daughter to do anything.Therefore, Gu Realized the real growth of freedom and happiness. She tried everything and chose what she really liked.Taking a step back, we ordinary parents can’t afford to send our children to learn as many things as Guyan does, but we can protect the fun of free inquiry as much as possible within the limited conditions.It is fun for poor children to do handcrafts (such as Shuogeng), and it is also fun for children from ordinary families to love singing (such as those rural children who are good at singing on Douyin)…We can’t afford to create more opportunities and possibilities, but at least we can do it without depriving our children of the fun of exploration and freedom of choice.However, many parents can’t do that either.Even the mother of talented swimmer Sun Yang is so controlling that even her son’s girlfriend is tall enough to satisfy her expectations.Gu Yan said that she was not surprised by her daughter’s excellence, even if her daughter was nothing but a support for herself.This “I love my daughter even if she is useless” mentality determines that she can give her enough freedom and respect.They are less like mother and son, and more like two independent adults.When watching the documentary, I noticed that Gu ailing gave her mother the name Yan Gu, not Mom.Mother and daughter communicate, GuYan also does not treat Gu Ailing as a child, she does not control the language.There is a detail in the documentary: After a long time of quarantine, Gu Went to the ski resort to resume training, but her ski coach could not come because of the epidemic. Gu Called Gu to tell her about the change.Gu’s first reaction was a little surprise and disappointment. Why didn’t she come as promised?Guyan, on the other end of the phone, said to her daughter, “It is reasonable and understandable that she has decided not to come because she is worried about the epidemic.Then Guyan asked her daughter, what will you do if the coach doesn’t come?”I’ll figure it out by myself,” Gu said. “There are so many athletes’ coaches in the training field, and I can learn something by following others for a few months.”Listen, Guyan said good, hung up the phone.Ski coach cancellations, children can only go to training by themselves, this matter in general parents can be as calm as the swallow?Many parents are anxious when it comes to their children.However, Gu Yan is not only calm, but also discusses the matter with her child and trusts his solution.In addition, to be a talented skier’s mother, not only need to have strong financial support, but also pay time and energy to accompany.Every weekend, Gu Yan drives eight hours to take Gu Ailing to the club for training, and she can not miss the company and care of various competitions.But Gu Yan doesn’t have the sense of giving that most ordinary parents do.I especially like the way she treats her daughter: “You don’t have to thank me for growing up. You don’t owe me anything.My bestie said she saw guyan this sentence broke down in tears.Bestie’s parents are the kind of people who have a strong sense of giving. They often ask her for money and things and exploit her for many years. They also plausibly say that this is what she should repay her parents as a daughter.Now that she has a daughter, she feels even more overdone. She says one of her biggest insights as a mother is that the joy and self-healing she gets from raising her daughter is worth it.If you really love this child, is not to ask her to return what, more will not feel that the child owes him.But the vast majority of parents are very concerned about gain and loss because they have a strong sense of control and giving to their children.So, they want to impose their own ideas on the children, their unfinished dreams on the children, their own desires projected on the children, with their likes and dislikes to control the children’s behavior…Gibran wrote a poem called “Your Child is not Your Child”. I can see the beautiful parent-child relationship in Guyan: “Your children are not your children in fact, they are the children born of life’s desire for itself.They came through you, but not for you; they are with you, but not for you.You may give them your love, but not your thoughts, for they have their own thoughts.You may shelter their bodies but not their souls, for their souls belong to tomorrow, which you cannot even dream of reaching.You may strive to be like them, but try not to make them like you.For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.You are the bows from which your children are arrows sent forth.The archer sees the mark upon the path of the future, and he bends you with his might that his arrows may go swift and far.Let your bending be for gladness in the archer’s hand, for even as he loves the arrow that flies, so he loves also the bow that is stable.”Parents are strongly advised to read this poem.Gu Ailing likes skiing because her mother Gu Yan likes skiing. Every year when Gu Yan goes skiing, she takes Gu Ailing to a nearby ski school under her care.However, Gu Yan herself sets an example to be an independent and enterprising person. It is not hard to see from her career and life status that she herself is an excellent and powerful person.Look at Guyan’s own life: a single mother, an elderly pregnant woman who gave birth in her 40s, a woman who dated outstanding men while raising children, a woman who became a strong professional and a good mother at the same time.You see, Gu Yan herself is a confident and excellent person who does not follow rules and pursues independence. That is why she is able to educate such confident and excellent children as Gu Ailing.In recent days, some people have been emphasizing that “Gu Ailing is an extreme case” and “Gu Yan can do this because she is rich”.In private, this is a superficial excuse to avoid looking at the nature of the problem.Having children later in life and being a single mother are all breakthroughs in the world’s norms. They require vision, structure and willpower.As parents, to do a good job of their own consciously, so that their consciousness, spiritual world, inner stability and clear, not disorderly and not impatient, for children is a very important nourishment.These intangible things mean more to children than the resources they get with money.Many parents are in the pursuit of material money and other tangible things, and those intangible things, such as freedom and respect for children, patience and companionship, are parents can do but did not do.